Why did you make me like this?

Everytime someone asks me the famous question: So, what are you planning to do with your life? Well, I'm an art major in college planning to do something, right? I have a difficult time answering this question at times. I change my mind all the time. Right now, I'm interested in working as a teacher with children with special needs using art, of course. I love art therapy and have a huge love for education. For some reason, the words art and college put together doesn't translate well with certain people. It's not quite the recipe for becoming the next, instant billionaire. When people find out what I'm majoring in, I often get this "Oh, well, that's nice..." kind of response. Some people get really excited about it like me. Everyone is different and has different responses and that is predictable, right? Some even say or admit that majoring in art is a risk in itself.

A professor I had at CBU told us of countless times people have nagged, bugged, just curiously asked college seniors what they plant to do with their lives right after they graduate. He chuckled, and mentioned how many college students change their majors and how older adults in their later years don't even know what they want to do yet. Most people make multiple career shifts during their lifetime. So, if none of us can make up our minds, maybe I will respond with what my professor humorously suggested we respond to that famous question: Well, I'm  just going to do God's will. What about you?

 

Ha, but it's very true. I wish I could respond that way to some people. I also wish I had a really good, honest, undebatable, rehearsed answer to give them. Sometimes I get quite angry with God for giving me the ability and love of creativity. I sort of wrestle with him, feeling humiliated for what I am and what I can do compared to others. I have this pride in me that deeply and secretly desires to impress people, and I feel I can hardly ever do that even if I have good intentions to do so. I just get the feeling that art is not a very impressive field to some.

I believe worst feeling in the world is trying to fit into someone else's shoes. Sometimes it was done out of jealousy, insecurity, or fear. Reader, I hope this post makes sense. Sometimes I just jumble my thoughts out on the blog and don't spend enough time to proof-read. I'm not much of a writer. I just roll out my raw thoughts on the table. Embrace yourself and your gifts. I can't be you. And that is a very good thing. Funny, another one of my wonderful professors in the past advised us to use our talents not only because it is good for ourselves, but it is good for others because we cannot do what they do and they cannot do what we do. I love that. Besides, John Piper has said: God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him. I am not my gifts, I am not my abilities, and I am certainly worth more than any degree or career.

Well, I guess I'm ready.

Really hope this encourages at least

one person in the universe today!

But who are you, O man, to talk back to God?

"Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?'"

~Romans 9:20